The Eighteenth Camel

The very purpose of this post is simple: listen to this TED guy for the next 20 minutes and spend less than 3 minutes reading mine (or skip all the paragraphs altogether but please do leave your comments below, much appreciated Folks J).

There are many interesting points that William Ury brought throughout this talk, especially the new perspective of conflict. He called the concept the Third Side. The idea is to bring mediation between two parties in disagreement. This third person should be able to view and assess the situation in an objective, unbiased manner (to do so it is advisable that he/she have no personal gain in the matter). At some point we might be the one in conflicts, therefore needing a mediator, but in other occasion we are expected to take the role of the third side.

But what kind of solution is expected from the third side? How to deal with the disagreements? We can learn a few tips from the book William Ury wrote: Getting to Yes. In this book about art of negotiation, he proposed a concise method consisting of several points:

1.       Separate the people from the problem

2.       Focus on interest, not positions

3.       Invent options for mutual gain (win-win solution)

4.       Insist on using objective criteria

Still  a bit too abstract? Well, reading the actual book might help: http://www.nine-iq.net/library/files/materials/EN%20-%20GETTING%20TO%20YES.pdf

There are many types and sources of conflicts out there, be it in workplace, school, or family. I believe that no matter how difficult our positions, no matter how hurt we are, we still have the choice to be the catalyst of peace.

“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?”

Abraham Lincoln